The Theatre and I are getting back together. Roughly a year and a half ago we split up. It was mutual Despite the fact that it wasn't a bitter break, I haven't seen her since.
She tried calling, I didn't pick up. Often I felt like I should, but part of me knew it wasn't a real call. I know her too well. These calls were meaningless drunk dials that would lead to empty promises and hurt feelings. Neither of us really want that. So, I stayed away. I didn't visit, I didn't call. It got to the point where I didn't like to even be associated with her. People would ask me about her, and I would dodge the conversation. Her embrace became a distant memory.
I tried to forget her entirely, and I almost succeeded. Sometimes I would dream of her, how she made me feel. When we were together I could do anything. I could command a room to silence, make people jump to applause, have people hang on my every word. Without her ,I would ask permission to speak, question my words, withhold my jokes, doubt my ideas. She never let me doubt my ideas, even the obviously bad ones. She would push me to try them. "How will you know it's bad if you don't try?", she'd say.
In the end the bad ideas became my favourite ideas. The bad ideas were when I felt her the most, just me and her walking on the edge, with no safety net. If we fell, we fell together. If we died, we died together. If we succeeded, we succeeded together.
We were a real team.
Over the last few months I began to think of her more and more, began to speak of her, began to ask friends how she was.
Then she called.
She wanted to meet, rekindle the partnership. She wanted to know if I had any ideas.
"Too many", I answered , "but I'm not sure if they're good ideas". She smiled.
Comments